benedict cumberbatch harasses a black youth
this is the fifth time I’ve reblogged this i don’t care
RIP to the thousands of turkeys being slaughtered in the name of “giving thanks” and “peace on earth”.
And RIP to all the Native Americans who are completely forgotten/have their genocide glamorized and covered up by this holiday
RIP to my asshole after all the food is done being digested
RIP to my bussy after getting pounded by my cousin in the bathroom after thanksgiving dinner
australians all let us rejoice
We’ve been telling fuckin tourists and Irish people about this and they’re all like ‘wtf what is wrong with your birds’.
you don’t understand i would sell my firstborn to know how this story started
Well it all started when Mrs. Hayfer wanted me to babysit her dumb house. When I got the keys, I sat them on top of this pie that I found on the counter. I knew it was going to be given to the family for desert if I didn’t eat it soon, so I was going to plan to eat it in my teacher’s house and dump all the crumbs on her bed. So it’s a win-win, right? Besides, she wouldn’t find out about the crumbs until after I was paid, and this teacher hates me anyway. Then, I got distracted when this hot cheerleader calls me, asking about what movie I’d recommend, but before I could answer, I realize that my mom would be there any second to serve dinner, and there was no way I was sharing that pie. So I bust out of there with the pie and the keys, and the moment I get in the house, I start chowing down on the pie with my bare hands, trying to eat this thing before anyone knows I took it, right? Well, since the pie crust was dry, I chugged a 2-liter bottle of soda whenever my throat would get dry and eventually, I really needed “to go.” Only when I went to flush, the water wouldn’t stop flowing and there was no plunger to be found. Usually I’d just shrug and say it was Josh’s fault or something, but let’s get real here, Mrs. Hayfer would’ve blamed me about her toilet overflowing if I was 30 states away. So I jammed my foot in there, hoping it’d make the toilet stop flushing. Then my phone rings, and I knew it was my mom, asking where her pie went, and because Meghan decided it’d be a great idea to make my ring tone a bunch of cats meowing, Mrs. Hayfer’s dog, Tiberius starts freaking out, bashing into the door over and over again. Now anyone who knows this dog knows that this dog will happily eat anything, and that includes the pie, and probably myself. So my foot’s totally stuck in there right, I’m freaking out, the dog’s having a seizure and I still got half a pie left.
boyfriend: what’s for dinner?
Making faces to your friend across the room..and the teacher catches you…
Into the Woods, 2014 (x)
FUCK I AM EXCITED
SO MANY WONDERFUL ACTORS I CANNOT WAIT!!!
*eats 1,000 oranges* its fruit i won’t gain weight
An orange is approximately 87 calories. If you were to eat 1,000 oranges that would be 87,000 calories.
its fruit i wont gain weight
*tries to get eight hours sleep in 3 hours*
this guy was watching the vmas with me and now he’s educating himself how precious is that
he keeps asking me all these questions about aspects of feminism and he’s like “so basically it’s about letting women do what they want without being judged for it” and I was like yea and he was like “oh okay that’s so simple why isn’t everyone a feminist” it’s precious
update: I banged him